Roses are red. Violets aren’t blue. Marriage aint what it is on t.v. boo!
Before I got married, and even shortly after, I thought what everyone else thinks: I am madly, head over heels in love with this man and everyday with him will be filled with rainbows and endless sunshine. Well, I was right about one thing: marrying the love of my life. I met my husband, Jeremiah, in high school when I was 17 years old. He is two years younger than me. This, of course, brought along HELLA judgement from family and friends and clear maturity differences. So naturally, the first 3 years of us dating was an up and down roller coaster of fun, love and breakups. While dating, it was us against the world. Jeremiah and I were inseparable and all about each other.
We got married on April 20, 2014. The ceremony was intimate, beautiful and filled with endless smiles. Shortly after getting married we moved into an apartment together. How does the saying go again? Once you move in with a person, you REALLY learn who they are. The saying should be you really learn who YOU are. In the beginning, I resisted the identity shift from being just Justice to being a wife. I thought wearing this title was supposed to change and mature me magically, without actually doing the work. I wasn't mentally ready to be married, nor did I come from a home where mom and dad were married and happily in love. Loving Jeremiah was the easy part, but there were moments that weren't so beautiful. Moments, that in retrospect, where our relationship was tested in order to grow. Through the years of learning to love and growing in friendship, I learned more about myself. It took time, but I learned the meaning behind 'unconditional love'. I accepted my husband in every form, in every mood, in every decision, right or wrong.
“Marriage is a sacred promise to God and my husband, that I will unconditionally love and care for him forever.”
I let go of those false expectations of what I thought a husband was supposed to be, and what he was supposed to do for me. And I embraced the beautiful, dynamic, fun man that is my partner. This was the turning point in my marriage. Through self reflection and really looking in the mirror, I ensure that my insecurities don’t influence the way I love and care for my husband. I make the choice everyday to stand in love with my partner and I am learning to embrace both the low and high moments, because both teach us more and more about ourselves and our loved ones.
Moral of the story: Love is a practice. Marriage takes work. Times of adversity bring growth. And continue to love while you learn.