lessons from love x marriage

Roses are red. Violets aren’t blue. Marriage aint what it is on t.v. boo! 

Before I got married, and even shortly after, I thought what everyone else thinks: I am madly, head over heels in love with this man and everyday with him will be filled with rainbows and endless sunshine. Well, I was right about one thing: marrying the love of my life. I met my husband, Jeremiah, in high school when I was 17 years old. He is two years younger than me. This, of course, brought along HELLA judgement from family and friends and clear maturity differences. So naturally, the first 3 years of us dating was an up and down roller coaster of fun, love and breakups. While dating, it was us against the world. Jeremiah and I were inseparable and all about each other. 

We got married on April 20, 2014. The ceremony was intimate, beautiful and filled with endless smiles. Shortly after getting married we moved into an apartment together. How does the saying go again? Once you move in with a person, you REALLY learn who they are. The saying should be you really learn who YOU are. In the beginning, I resisted the identity shift from being just Justice to being a wife. I thought wearing this title was supposed to change and mature me magically, without actually doing the work. I wasn't mentally ready to be married, nor did I come from a home where mom and dad were married and happily in love. Loving Jeremiah was the easy part, but there were moments that weren't so beautiful. Moments, that in retrospect, where our relationship was tested in order to grow. Through the years of learning to love and growing in friendship, I learned more about myself. It took time, but I learned the meaning behind 'unconditional love'. I accepted my husband in every form, in every mood, in every decision, right or wrong. 

“Marriage is a sacred promise to God and my husband, that I will unconditionally love and care for him forever.”

I let go of those false expectations of what I thought a husband was supposed to be, and what he was supposed to do for me. And I embraced the beautiful, dynamic, fun man that is my partner. This was the turning point in my marriage. Through self reflection and really looking in the mirror, I ensure that my insecurities don’t influence the way I love and care for my husband. I make the choice everyday to stand in love with my partner and I am learning to embrace both the low and high moments, because both teach us more and more about ourselves and our loved ones.

Moral of the story: Love is a practice. Marriage takes work. Times of adversity bring growth. And continue to love while you learn.

receiving + releasing

I was recently prompted to journal about the following question: What is my relationship to having or receiving?

Immediately after reading this I thought to myself, ‘we’re supposed to have a relationship with having?' Needless to say I was confused about the whole thing. Like many other people I associate having things, and the things in my life, to worth or self value.

I meditated deeper on the question and the idea of money interrupted my stream of thoughts. I begin to journal about my relationship to money. In the earlier years of my life i’ve always witness money coming and going. My family didn’t talk about money or if they did, it was about not being paid enough or just simply not having enough. I wasn’t taught to save, invest in myself, or invest in my future. So today, as an adult, I find myself applying those same principles of money to my current financial situation. I say things like, we don’t have enough for that, thats too expensive, or just simply not doing things I enjoy. These limited beliefs hinder me from truly receiving all that is for me. I shifted my mindset and spoke only the things I wanted to manifest in my life. I deserve abundance and I am now walking with a much more opened heart to receive the things in life that are already mine. I turned those false statements into positive fulfilling ones.

What I learned from this shift: 

• There is enough money for everyone.
• Let go of the things that no longer serve me, so I am able to be in a position of receiving.
• I deserve abundance.

Evaluate your relationship to having. Comment one thing you could be resisting due to your false beliefs.

Moral of the story: filter through your negative self talk + remove all things that could potentially block your blessings.

here’s to letting go

Lately I’ve been feeling led to declutter my life and let some necessary things go. Instead of starting with my beauty products, which need some serious help, I decided to start with the things clouding and filling up space in my mind. 

When it came down to begin I realized I don't know how to let things go. It was something I had to relearn. I had to learn how to intentionally remove things from my life that no longer served a purpose. There were thoughts and things mentally taking up space in my mind that was ultimately effecting me and my everyday decision making.

So here is the list I came up with:

• False beliefs about myself  (saying things like, “I am not good enough to do _________”)
• Self doubt
• Looking for the negative in new ideas
• Comparing myself  and my work to others
• Finding new things wrong with my body
• The idea of having it all together
• Procrastination

Moral of the story: Make time to remove the things, people, thoughts that no longer serve your higher self. Your future you will thank you.