how I got clear glowing skin

I love all things skincare. The products, the packaging, the use of natural things birthed from the earth and put on to my skin. To me, skincare is self care. Each step is a intricate part of my ritual and can’t not be skipped or done with poor effort. I am patient, gentle and intentional with every aspect of my skin, because it has been a journey to get to where I am today. 

Back in the day(sometime in 2013-2014) I began experiencing, what I later learned to be, hyper-pigmentation. Hyperpigmentation is a common, harmless condition in which patches of skin become darker in color than the normal surrounding skin. I had dark marks and acne all over both my cheeks and my chin. After giving birth to Cameron my skin begin to break out more than it ever had in my life. I was disgusted. I felt ugly. I thought I tried everything to get rid of it. This all resulted in me later believing that my skin would never change and I should just get used to how it looks. 

It wasn’t until I became INTENTIONAL with my research on my type of skin. That is when I learned about hyper-pigmentation, amongst other common skin issues with darker toned skin. I further researched natural ways to clear my skin and improve its complexion. Fast forward to 2018 where my glow is poppin and skin care game is LIT. I am beyond grateful for the progression my skin has had and the patience I was able to practice during this entire process. 

So I have edited, perfected + inspected my skin care ritual down to a happy place. 

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The Ritual

Cleanse— Either one of these will get the job done. I use these cleansers to wash away all the dirt from the day, junk and the occasional hand to face contact. Along with these cleansers I use my spin brush to really get all up in there for a thorough clean. You can get these products here or here.

Tone— Witch Hazel removes the oils or dirt I may have missed and the Rosewater hydrates my skin while restoring its pH balance. Maintaining the correct pH balance is essential to minimizing common skin problems. Long story, short. Tone, it’s necessary. 

Treatment— These products right here are my acne soldiers and they STAY READY for combat. You can find these products here and here. (Not Pictured: Tea tree oil is my secret weapon to fighting pimples as well.) 

Moisturize— For the summer this has been my go-to for moisture. It's lightweight and keeps my skin glowing. I also include SPF, because everyone knows that’s the key to looking young forever!

Serums— Mommas glow is a MUST.  So needless to say, this step never gets skipped. I bought both these products from my local TJ Maxx and so far they are everything. 

Eye Treatment— This is a newbie to my skin care ritual. So far I’ve noticed a gradual difference in the puffiness under my eyes. Y’all know your eyes are the first to age and wrinkle. If you wanna continue looking 25 when you’re 65, use eye cream. 

Mask— This is the ONLY mask that I have used and seen actual results on my skin. This mask is made by Jesus himself, I promise you. You need it in your life. I normally use it once a week(#maskmonday). You're welcome. (SN: this mask requires you to use apple cider vinegar to activate it. I add a few drops of tea tree oil as well to combat acne and maintain clear skin.)

keys to glowy, poppin' skin—

• You are what you eat and drink. I know you don't want to hear this, but pay close attention to the things you allow in your body. Your skin will reflect those things. So lets chill on the beefy burgers and large sodas, for good. 
• A consistent skincare ritual is more important than the products that make up the ritual. Meaning you don't have to run out to your local Target to pick up all the latest and greatest products. As long as you have products that work for you and your skin, stay consistent. Wash your face everyday, twice a day. 
•  If you want that glooow, two words. Jojoba Oil. 
• Exfoliate. It removes the dead skin cells on the surface of your skin and increases blood circulation, which in turn helps you achieve glowing clear skin.
• SPF. Protects your skin from harsh sun exposure and prevents skin discoloration. 
• Whatever you do, DONT. FORGET. YOUR. NECK.

BONUS TIP— Keep the things you sleep on(bed linen) clean. Spick and span. Spot-less. Clean them everyday if you can. 

Moral of the story: Respect the process and do your OWN research. Your future self will thank you.

Life after Bereavement

July 13, 2015, a normal day to some, but to me and my family it is the day we lost my 5 month old baby boy, Aiden. He was called home peacefully in his sleep due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. SIDS is the sudden, unexplained death of a baby younger than 1 year of age that doesn’t have a known cause of death. The definition of the word itself, left so many questions unanswered. As you could imagine this is the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced. I could still hear the sirens of the ambulance ringing in my ears and feel how cold my skin was sitting in the passenger seat watching all the cars scatter, while we rush through traffic to get to the nearest hospital. My heart has never raced so fast before and a part of me wanted so badly to not face what was happening all around me. The sight of my son lying still in that hospital bed will always be imprinted in my mind as the last time I saw him, as him. 

I couldn’t stop crying. I cried so much it hurt after a while. I kept trying to force myself to feel something again. Anything. I tried to do what everyone else around me did and that was live their life again. But I was stuck. I died with my son that day. I felt nothing, I heard nothing, I wanted nothing. I was cold, still, confused, in denial, physically, mentally, spiritually hurt in every way a person could hurt. It wasn’t long until my hurt turned into anger. I was angry at God, because he took my boy. I was angry at mothers who still had their children with them. I was angry with my job that I had to go to the morning Aiden died. I was angry with my husband, because he was grieving differently than I was. I was angry with myself, because I couldn’t do anything to bring Aiden back. I was angry with all the people who said I was strong, because I felt they were lying to me. I didn’t feel strong at all.

As I navigated through the grieving process I was a complete mess on the inside. I have always had this strange distant relationship to death. I was one of those people who had never really experienced death with any close loved one or friend before. To be honest, I had been afraid of the idea of not being alive anymore and this “dark place” you go when you die. I feared death for a very long time, until I met him that day. 

There is a part of me that will never exist again, because it belongs and rests with my son in heaven. After encountering death I understand now that it is and will always be accompanied by life. You cannot have life without death. I realized too that death doesn’t mean the end. Although my son is no longer living life here with me physically, his spirit lives inside of me forever. So when I thought I was losing him forever, I just gained him in a different way for a lifetime. Accepting this truth allowed me to take my first steps in the direction of healing. Naturally, I found my release and healing through writing. I wrote my truth, my story, my prayers, my first book. I wrote all of my emotions, thoughts and unexplained feelings. Slowly each day, with also the support of my family, I entered a place of peace and acceptance. 

In those writing sessions and conversations with God, I wrote my first book The Moon Amongst Stars. This collection of poetry shares those dark emotions and tearful moments as I walked through my grief and depression. The book is divided into four moon phases, from new moon to the last quarter. Each phase representing a different moment and feeling during that period in my life. This journey is raw, heartfelt and 100% my truth. I knew it was important to share my story with the world, because I wanted other grieving mothers to know they are not alone in their healing and that we can all join hands and take this walk together. 

My story is different. My life and experience as a mother has completely changed, but my heart is settled into a place now of acceptance. Accepting  that my baby boy is now in heaven with a God who is perfect and makes no mistakes. Holding on to that truth is the thing that has allowed me to live life again as myself. 

Moral of the Story: No matter what you are healing from, you are not alone in your journey. We are all connected though our experiences in life. Free yourself and share your truth.

Interested in reading my book, The Moon Amongst Stars? Click here.

end of the month reflection

And just like that the month is over. Time flies right? I am a firm believer in ‘checking in’ whether that’s relationships or self work.  I curated a downloadable worksheet to close this month off right with writing and intentionality. It is a monthly check-in sheet that has thought provoking questions to reflect on this past month. There are so many mental benefits that are birthed from reflection and just simply doing the work. One of the benefits being clarity and from this place of clarity is where you can create your most empowering intentions.  

While navigating through these questions it is important that you set and align your intentions for the upcoming month and continue to check-in with yourself to remain rooted in your values and desires. Doing this will allow you to continue forward with mind that is grounded, open, and focused.

Self reflection is a key part to how I stay in tune with myself and what it is I am feeling. But I get it, life happens. And sometimes you tend to slip away from yourself without even knowing it. As a mother, I find myself on autopilot often. Why? Because when you have children there is always something you should or need to be doing. This sheet (and questions) were created with you in mind and to ensure you don’t miss that moment of pause with yourself. Don’t let your month slip by without you acknowledging its sweet moments and also its areas of improvement. Enjoy friends.

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*if this is beneficial for you please share it with a friend + let me know down below how it added value in your life.